Dear Paula – going out doesn’t make you a bad mum
Today I read a story online, it was in the Daily Mail and Mirror online (and possibly others). Written by a mum called Paula Winchester. Paula is a single mum to a lovely 4 year old girl and she believes that single mummies who go out at the weekend are ‘disgraceful half-hearted parenting.’
Me and Mimi
Now I’m not a single mum, but I was a young mum. I am also the child of a single mum. I have single mummy friends. I think every parent – be them a single parent or part of a couple – needs and deserves a bit of ‘me time’ in whatever shape that is. Be it a long soak in the bath alone or a night out with the girls. I remember my mum going for nights out while my nan looked after my brother and I. In the mornings my mum was always the first up, sorting breakfast and ready for the day a head. If she was hung over she hid it well!
I agree that this shouldn’t have a knock on affect on your child the next day, but I don’t agree that as Paula stated ‘I really don’t think single parents deserve a night off’. Single parents don’t deserve a night off? What? Are you for real Paula? Of course single parents deserves a night off. Every parent deserves that it can’t be healthy for anyone to never have any down time.
I wonder if this is more a reflection of you and what happened when you went out. You would rather go to bed early when your daughter is with her dad and that’s you and your choice but just because when you went out and got drunk, you wasn’t capable the next day you shouldn’t be tarring every single mum with that brush.
I don’t know anyone of my friends who have ever been so drunk that the next day that they ‘lie on the sofa, putting DVD after DVD on, not cooking properly.’ If a parent is doing that then by all means call them out on it. But don’t think that if a single mum is out on a Saturday night that she won’t be with it enough to look after their child the next day.
I was 17 when I fell pregnant, 18 when my oldest daughter was born. I was the only sober person at my 18th birthday party! I was never one to go out every weekend clubbing. I went out but it wasn’t something I missed or have felt the need to do every weekend but what is wrong with a night with the girls ? It’s just as important to be you as it is to be mum. Yes I made the decision to be a mum but at that moment I didn’t stop being Becky, It doesn’t mean that my world doesn’t revolve around my girls. If I want to have a night out or make me any less of a parent if I go clubbing.
Me on a night out
Single parents, young parents and young single parents even more so get a lot of bad press without one of their own turning on them making sweeping statements. Single parents do the job of 2 parents on a day to day basis, and they deserve a night off just as much as the next.
Moderation is the keyword here.
I read this story originally on DailyMail